Booze vs Sleep

# opinion

This isn’t science, it’s personal.

I don’t drink a lot. That is to say, when I enjoy a grown-up beverage, I do so in moderation. There are three reasons for this. 1 – booze isn’t cheap (well, good booze isn’t). 2 – too much makes me, and most people (I’ve found), insufferable. 3 – feeling good the next day is more important than feeling “great” in the moment. But I’ve noticed that a few nights a week I indulge in the equivalent of 1.5 drinks (like I said, not science). Perhaps it is because of this slight consumption of alcohol that I am able to notice the subtleties occurring in the six to eight hours that follow. That is the point of this blog post: Booze vs Sleep – Not all alcohol has the same effect on me. Let’s take a look using a 1-10 (10 being the best) rating system. Oh and dolla signs.


The Drink: 5; Sleep Quality: 5; Next Day: 5; Cost: $

Perhaps the most well rounded of the bunch, it provides me with unpredictable, usually enjoyable, but fleeting dreams. Like, dreams of a good party, or you’re eating yummy pizza but – OH – you wake up and have to pee at least once or twice in the night.


The Drink: 6; Sleep Quality: 8; Next Day: 7; Cost: $$

Sound slumber, weird, confusing dreams (Like, Monument Valley/Penrose Triangle stuff but with maybe time travel and third-person perspective), and a fresh feeling the next day? Comparatively inexpensive and versatile to have in the kitchen, I guess you could call it the sleeper hit.

(red) Wine

The Drink: 8; Sleep Quality: 9; Next Day: -1; Cost: $$

Ah, wine, you foul, fickle friend. It provides a perfect, dreamless sleep (probably hours before intended) that will inevitably lead The Worst Hangover Ever, resulting in a loss of a day. It’s a magical substance, but in the great words of the even greater Wayne Campbell, I’m “not worthy.”


The Drink: 9; Sleep Quality: 3; Next Day: 7; Cost: $$$

The dreams will be vivid, usually pleasant, but unfortunately interrupted by tossing, turning, and general confusion. Because the dreams are so dope (riding a unicorn/pegasus hybrid) you’ll remember them, but they’ll be cut short. Always. It doesn’t matter because even with that garbage sleep I wake up feeling like a champion.


The Drink: 8; Sleep Quality: 6; Next Day: 6; Cost: $$$

Jose Cuervo doesn’t count as tequila. Neither does any other cheap junk. With good stuff I’m promised wild dreams (car chase! flying!) but restless sleep. A 50/50 chance of a hangover but a 100% chance of a persistent smell of tequila emanating from me, somewhere, somehow.


Is this spot on for you, too? Way off? Well let’s quickly look at me: I’m 33 years old, 6’1″ tall, weigh 160 lbs, run about 30 miles a week, and go to bed between 10:30pm-11:30pm. I don’t skip breakfast (it’s either eggs or oatmeal with copious amounts of water and coffee) and I stay away from sugar and dairy (usually). Anyway, let me know what you think: I’m @typeler on Twitter.

Also, vodka was excluded from this informal study because vodka sucks (for me)

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